You are so much more

Have you ever had those days when you are just so overwhelmed by the beauty of Gods creation that you can hardly speak? Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like everything is just going to, somehow, workout? Have you ever had those days when you wish you could just freeze time? Have you ever had one of those days when joy is the only thing you can feel? Have you ever had one of those days when, no matter how much work you may need to get done, all you can bare to do is sit in the warmth of the sun? Have you ever had one of those days when God has reminded you that in Him all things are held together? Have you ever had one of those days when you want to cry, not because you are sad or stressed or angry or scared, but because you simply don't know how else to express what you are feeling?

Today has been one of those days for me. It has been beautiful. Praise God.

I woke up a lot later than planned today, but I am ok with it. My body needed to sleep. I mailed a letter to my dear friend and a present to Zach (be pumped, btw) and then I went to lunch. It ended up being just a few of us there, but enjoyable. After lunch I started walking with James and we got to talk for a while. I don't have class on Tuesdays (thank you, Lord) so I decided to just keep talking to him for a while. We went to his car, got his hammock and set it up outside of the library. We sat in his hammock for nearly 3 hours. He worked on Greek, I just relaxed and took in the beauty of the day. It was 70 degrees, clear skies, sunny, no humidity and a cool breeze. Aka PERFECT. The hammock drew a ton of attention, as was to be expected. Johnny walked by and ended up hanging out for close to an hour. He rocked the hammock, and I almost fell asleep. It was wonderful. People came and went, we chatted for a while and they went on their way. I just stayed in the hammock, realizing I had a ton of civ homework and physiology reading, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I loved hanging out with James... it had been way to long. I came back to my room and started some homework, then Lauren called me. I thought about keeping the convo short so I could be productive, but I decided talking to my friend was way more fun. We talked, we laughed. It was nice.

God is good. He is so faithful. In the midst of the struggles of this year, He alone is sustaining me. I am constantly amazed.

My word, what a beautiful day.

Party in the U.S.A.

I am not going to post about any of the junk that has been going on this week, because chances are, if you are reading my blog, you have already had to put up with my incessant complaining. Sorry again about that. ha.

I am going to stick with a list for this post. I am just too tired to think of anything else.

1. I am currently updating my phone. It is taking forever.

2. I stayed up until 3:30 last night doing homework. I am actually proud of myself considering I only got 3 hours of sleep Thursday night and no nap at all yesterday.

3. I did all that work last night for this purpose: I am about to leave to go to a stained glass store with Amanda!

4. The drive is a little over an hour... so that means plenty of time to jam out to Miley. Perf.

5. TWIRP date today. I am hoping it will be fun. It is going to be a bit weird for sure, but we will see. It is the same group of guys we TWIRP every year, but Amanda, Kacie, Kristen (who is out of town anyway) and I haven't talked to or hung out with them all year. Also, we have no plan in place yet. Haha. Oh well, I am sure a good time will be had by all.

6. We plan on going to see Fame on Sunday. I am pumped.

7. I am legit allergic to Oklahoma. I am not just saying that because I don't like it here. I am totally serious. My skin will attest to this fact. It is rather unsightly.

8. It is a BEAUTIFUL day. 75 and sunny with a slight breeze. Talk about perfect! Gah. I am so happy. "It's a Jon Foreman day."

9. Since we will be in the city, I am kind of hoping for chick-fil-a. I feel like its a long shot today though. We will just have to wait and see.

10. My allergies are kicking my butt this week. But... fall is coming!

11. Izzy (my cousin) turned 8 yesterday! I sent her a video and called her. It is interesting trying to talk to kids on the phone. Ha. I can't believe she is so old. I feel like all my memories pretty much begin at 8 years old.

12. I think our room is actually getting colder. I didn't know that was possible. It is actually really painful to take a shower now because our skin is SO cold, the warm water feels like flaming bullets. Not exaggerating.

13. Iphone update almost complete!

14. I have the absolute BEST bffae in the world. Seriously.

If I had time

I finished my journey through Matthew this moring. It has taken me a little over a month, but I stayed committed and finished it. Today I read through the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. I pray that this never looses its ability to amaze me. When I initially started reading through Matthew, I found myself thinking at times "oh, I know this story" and I would just quickly read through this. But, I don't ever want the Word to become something I can take so lightly. Reading today reminded me of the price Christ paid, for us! He knows I don't deserve it. He knows I screw up constantly. He knew that humans would continue to be imperfect and sinful, yet He died anyway. Gosh, I am so thankful! I don't have any words that could do this justice, so I think I am just going to stick with "wow" for now.

Reading through this today really made me want to take another class at OBU called Life of Christ! Of course, I don't have anytime in my schedule, but as I prepare to continue to go through the gospels, I can't help but wish that I had time to take this class! James took it last year, and Kacie and Johnny are in it this year. As you can imagine, all I hear is how wonderful it is and how much they learn! I know I am in the right major, but sometimes I wish they gave us a chance to have at least one elective... because I would definitely take Lif of Christ.

Epiphany

School has been getting me down lately, that is no surprise to anyone who has been keeping up with my blog, but today I realized something that helps this all suck a little less. Ha.

First off, I have been learning SO many lessons lately. Sheesh. Sometimes it is hard to take it all in, and sometimes I would rather not have to be learning these things. But, nonetheless, God is teaching me. Let me share something I have been thinking about tonight.

This year I have come to realize/accept that school is not the single most important thing in the world. School is not what defines me and school is not something that should take all my time, energy and focus (because then it becomes an idol). I came to this realization and used it as an excuse to have fun this semester. That is all well and good, but I have come to realize that there is more to it than that. School is not everything, but, school is where God has me right now. I do not have a family and I do not have a job. School is my "job," so to speak. Although I need to be cautious about making school an idol in my life, I must realize that this is where God has me for the next 3 years, and I need to look at it as my service to Him. School needs to become about glorifying God. For me, that means facing it with a positive attitude. It means not allowing myself to get so discouraged when I am not perfect. It means balancing work and play so that I can keep some of my sanity. It means giving my worries and anxities over to God with each and every day. It also means sacrifice. It means saying no to hanging out with my friends so that I can get what I need to done. It means giving up a Friday night to prepare for a civ test on Monday. It means getting everything done that I need to. It means doing things to the best of my ability (as if to the Lord), and not just doing things to get them done. God has called me to OBU. God has called me to be a student. God has called me to be a nursing major. I need to start treating it as such. I need to treat school as my calling for this time in my life, not just a season I have to suffer through.

With that, it is time that I get to work on my civ studying and physiology reading. I plan on being in bed by 11 tonight so that I can be well rested for tomorrow. Man, God is so good.

I'm so over it.

School, that is. Seriously... it is so lame. I have come to the conclusion that I strongly dislike sophmore year. It is just a constant flow of work. Like, I don't catch a break... ever. I am constantly doing homework (which often consists of tons of reading) or studying. Bah. I have a test tomorrow in development and nutrition. The material is not difficult, but from what I hear the tests are surprisingly difficult/confusing. I am nervous... but we will see. For the first time, I am actually dreading the weekend... because my first civ test is Monday! Yikes. I cannot put into words how terrified I am! Ha. There is just so much information to know. So far I have 20 pages of notes (front and back), plus all the questions I answered related to my outside readings. I plan on starting my studying on Friday afternoon. Then, I plan on sleeping in until about 9:30 or 10 on Saturday, then moving into the library for the day. I will take a break for Biggie around 7 (it's this show at obu), then study a bit more before bed. Sunday will be church, followed by a nap (hopefully), more studying, civ cram jam, family dinner with Kacie, Amanda and Kristen (maybe), brief bible study, more studying and then hopefully sleep. Gosh. No fun at all. Luckily I get the test over on Monday... then I can start studying for my physiology and sociology tests next friday! Then, somehow, working on two different papers. I am not exactly sure how I am going to get it all done... but somehow I will. I am just praying for God to sustain me... He is my only chance! :)

Now that I vented about school, I will mention some positives lately (those are always more fun):

1. I have been learning a lot lately. Sometimes I don't like it, but all in all it is a good thing.

2. I think I am starting to grow up. Again, sometimes I hate it, but I am choosing to look at it as a positive.

3. My dad ordered my TOMS today.

4. Family dinners and bible study are starting up again. I am excited. It will be Kristen, Kacie, Amanda and I. I am looking forward to it!

5. Amanda and I had a great conversation yesterday. She is starting to incorporate BFND into her vocabulary. victory.

6. I studied in the art building last night. I felt cool.

7. We sang how He loves in chapel today.

8. I currently have a 113 in civ. Ha. (that won't last too long, though)

9. I skipped an extra credit movie for civ today and napped. Good decision.

10. I get to sleep in a tad tomorrow.

11. God is so faithful.

12. I am still a hopeless romantic, so it has been a lot of fun to watch Amanda and Evan's relationship.

13. I am currently watching GH... I never get to watch tv anymore!

So Encouraged

Sorry I have been posting so much lately, but I just wanted to share this.

Today I ate lunch with Sarah Shutt. She is the RD of my dorm, as well as the dorm I lived in last year. Anyway, it was wonderful!! Gosh, we talked about pretty much every major subject. We discussed school, relationships, family, marriage (of course), the future and Gods plans for us. Ha. I love Sarah so much. She is like a big sister to me, which is a total blessing. Who knew I would simply have to go to lunch to find some much needed encouragement?! It was so good. She also told me that it is kind of strange for her to talk to me, because I seem to be a pretty much completely different person that last year. That made me feel so good... God has really been changing me.

At lunch, Sarah also told me that she was expecting! :) I am SO EXCITED! I love babies and pregnancy. Plus, she is due April 4, so I will be able to witness the whole process. I can't wait. She wants to go shopping soon so she can get some bigger cardigans for her growing belly! :) yayy!

God is so good. It's funny how He always provides me with exactly what I need. Lately, that has been people to just love me and encourage me... and He has provided more than I could have imagined.

Ring by November

I knew that title would get your attention. Danielle gave me that suggestion earlier today. That shouldn't surprise anyone. But seriously, I am so sick of school! I want to just drop out and get married. I even had a dream the other night that I changed my major from nursing to marriage. No joke. I don't know how this was possible in my dream, but it happened. It did involved me transferring to lonestar... ha.

School is wearing me out! I am exhausted all the time! I seriously can't remember the last time I was so tired. I just want to sleep. This is party due to the fact that I only got 2 and a half hours of sleep on Saturday, but mostly because school has completely drained me. For example, today I ended up being in class from 9-7:30... my only breaks were chapel from 10-10:50 and a 30 minute dinner break. Ugh. It was awful. Then I came back and wrote a paper for extra credit for civ. I can't bring myself to think anymore tonight... good thing I don't have class tomorrow. Sophmore year is no fun at all.

These past couple of days have been exceptionally discouraging. However, there is definitely a bright side to it all. I have been experiencing these discouragements from a variety of sources, and I haven't seemed to be able to catch much of break. If this were last year, the combination of all the junk would have destroyed me, but God is so good! There is no explanation other than that He is taking care of me. Gosh, God has just been working on my heart. He truly is sustaining me, and I am so grateful.

One thing He has been teaching me is how to be fully satisfied in Him. It is a real struggle for me, because there are so many things of this world I seem to want. Even if I desire "good" things, they will never satisfy me like the love of Christ will. That needs to be enough for me. I am learning that, and it sometimes hurts, but after all the things of this world are gone, He is still more than enough for me. :)

In other news, Julian texted us all today asking if we would pitch in to buy Jared a new longboard. These things are NOT cheap at all, but everyone was really generous and it got ordered tonight! He has no idea, and I am so excited! I don't have a lot of money, and I am pretty much always stressed about it, but I was just filled with joy at the opportunity to pitch in. He is going to be so happy! Gosh, I can't wait for him to get it.

My dad is ordering me new TOMS! I can't wait. Gah! I had just been thinking in the past week or so how I really wanted a new pair... and then today my dad just asked if I wanted new ones! Yay!

I downloaded some new Miley and Regina. It does wonders for my mood. Mhmm. I also got to talk to Kyle a bit today! It was so exciting. And tomorrow I get to have lunch with Sarah, my RD from last year. I love her so much. :)

How He Loves Us

Gosh, I just love this song so much. We sang it today at church, and I was overwhelmed with emotion. What a beautiful reminder.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Long Time No Post

It has been a while. Needless to say, things have been a bit hectic. So here is an update. I am sure it will be boring, but it's cool. ;)

Labor Day Weekend:

This was a very fun weekend! I decided to pretend like I wasn't a student (bad idea) and just have fun! Sometime on Friday I went to the girls house to hang out and ending up not even getting back to my room until Monday evening. It was awesome. I had brought laundry to do over there, and I already had a toothbrush, so there was really no need for me to go back to my room. It was nice. I had a lot of fun hanging out with them all weekend. Kristin was out of town visiting her bf, so I got her bed for the weekend! Bonus. Amanda's new boyfriend, Evan, came to visit as well. He is a good guy! I definitely approve. He got here on Friday and he and Amanda went to the city and Kacie was at work, so I had the house to myself (except for the few times Julian popped in). It was kind of nice to just chill. On Saturday we all slept in, which was awesome. Julian, Kacie, Amanda, Evan and I went to lunch and then just hung around. That evening we went to the city to go to Hobby Lobby. Always fun, although I am like a 5 year old and feel the need to touch every single thing I walk by. After that we went to, you guessed it, Chick-Fil-A. Words could not describe my joy. I was so happy. We headed back to Shawnee and hung out. I got to skype with Zach and just hang out with everyone. Sunday morning was church. It was about marriage... of course I loved it. Ha. Then Panera. Yumm. Sunday night we decided to go to the bridge and hang our heads off! Luke's brother, Nick, and I had never been before, so it was especially exciting! It is terrifying and awesome. The semi's get so close to your head! Ha. While on the bridge Luke and I were doing cartwheels. I had done a couple successful ones and impressed everyone, but I couldn't leave good enough alone. I went for another, and as my entire body went into the air, my hand slipped in the sand. I landed rather hard on my side. Of course it was witnessed by all. Ha. It was hilarious... but my hip is still bruised. As we left the bridge we went to pick up the boys who were longboarding in Lowes parking lot, which is apparently one of the best places around here to board. So, they all got in Nick's car and came back to the house. We ended up fitting 9 people in his 5 seater. It was really awesome! Monday was a chill/try and start homework day. Nothing too special.

This past week has been insane. Very difficult, very stressful etc. Yesterday was the first day I really got emotional about anything. I just wanted to be home so bad, and I was so overwhelmed with school. I cried 2 different times... all before noon! It was a long day. As I was studying, Amanda called and asked if I wanted a starbucks break, and of course I said yes. I needed it. Today I had 2 tests and then 2 hours of Civ. It was long! Ha. Thank goodness for naps.

Last night we had our first flag football game... and we won! We are the Lagomorphs. We picked our team name by opening the dictionary and pointing to a random word. I know you are dying to know, so here is the definition

Lagomorph: an order of mammals that comprises the hares, rabbits, and pikas. They are distinguished by the possession of double incisor teeth.

Yep, that is our team! Ha. I play on the offensive line. I would rather stand there and get hit the entire game than have to run and catch. Ha. Plus, I can take a hit... I can't exactly run well. I took a few really hard hits last night... but it is all part of the game! After we won, James gathered us all together and gave us a speech about how horribly we played and how much we work we have left to do. So encouraging ;)! Ha. We play tomorrow at 10:00am, and if we win that game we play again at 11:00am, and if we win that game we play again at 12:00pm. I am praying we loose at least at 11! Haha.

I am going to leave you with this note that Julian wrote on my phone last year:

Hey dude, don't get down about all the studying you have been doing cause you're going to save a life someday!

This Isn't a Dream

I feel like I had a lot more to blog about last night, but oh well.

I have had a good week, although, it has been exhausting. I am looking forward to a 4 day weekend. :) Yep, I get 4 days. Be jealous. Here is a list of things that stood out to me between yesterday and today.

1. Kacie turned 21!

2. Giant Dr. Peppers

3. Free starbucks (which, I get anytime I want now... it is awesome having friends that work there)

4. Jon Foreman

5. Windows down

6. Driving through the country

7. Sunny with a high of 75

8. Friends

9. Laughter... lots of laughter

10. Realization that school is not the ONLY important thing in the world

11. Permanent marker "tattoo"

12. MCC

13. Good conversation: in person, through text, on the phone

14. "Marie, I like those shorts! What size are they?"-Kacie "I wear a 4!"-Me "Why do we not share clothes?!"- Kacie "I don't know, but we can always start now."-Me "I am so pumped."-Kacie

15. Epic wall posts

16. My bffae is wonderful

17. My OBU friends think my friends from home are too cool. Awesome.

18. Doing laundry in the comfort of a home.

19. First Canterbury tonight!

20. iTunes card=lots of new music

God is really blessing me this semester. But, my heart does ache a little when I think of home. I miss it a lot. I miss you all a lot.

Love Isn't Made

I have been on a bigger than normal Jon Foreman kick lately. As in, if I get the chance to listen to music (which is rare these days) I always want to listen to Jon Foreman. I can't get enough.

So, yesterday was "Death Day." That will be all Mondays from now on, actually. By death day, I mean that I am in class from 9-5 (since I have lab) without a break. It is exhausting. Seriously. I was so mentally drained by the time I got out of lab that I couldn't bring myself to do ANY work last night. However, Praise the Lord, I do not ever have class on Tuesdays... so I was able to put off my reading and get it done today. School is certainly overwhelming me, but I am just doing my best to take it one day at a time and not get overwhelmed by it all! So far, so good... I think.

Today was my "day off." It was certainly good! I slept in until 10, which was beautiful, woke up and continued my journey through Matthew, got dressed, had lunch with my friends and then started my work. I read for development for a while, which was actually interesting. I also got to watch GH today. Perf. Then I decided to tackle my Civ reading. This is where my day got a tad frustrating. Civ makes me feel completely stupid. More than anything else, I think. At least, the literature portion of Civ makes me feel dumb. We are reading The Aeneid right now. The problem is... I don't understand it at all! Even when I read, I still have to follow it up with sparknotes just to know what the heck is going on. I am NOT good at interpreting literature. I never have been, but for some reason I notice it even more this year. It is very frustrating. My mind simply doesn't work that way. I don't mind the history portion because it is fact based. There isn't room for interpretation, for the most part. I think this is why I like having a science based major. I like to learn facts. I like to be told how to do things. I am not good at "thinking outside of the box." Science, although it is still challenging to me, is something that I feel like I have the potential to learn. Bah... we will see how this works out.

Speaking of Civ, I had my first experience with our Lit. professor for Civ on Monday. Her name is Dr. Cole... and I think I am going to like her! She had us take a class picture, which I thought was hilarious, and awkward. She got up in class on Monday and spent about 20-30 minutes talking about how "art saves lives." She was very passionate about it. She was also wearing Eiffel Tower earrings... which was tight. In the midst of her art speech, she stopped to say this:

"Now, art doesn't save your life like Jesus saves your life..."

Sometimes it is really tight going to a Christian school. Ha. I also hear that on occasion she dresses in character for class. I am looking forward to it.

I went to visit Amanda today while she was working in the library. She is a math tutor... but it is still early in the semester and so she doesn't have anyone come to see her for help quite yet. We talked for like an hour and a half. She filled me in on some drama that had unfolded the night before, and I filled her in on some non drama of my life. Then... we began discussing, what else, boys and marriage! It was tight. I haven't talked with her to much like this before. It was fun. Very good conversation. :)

Tonight I also went to Community Group! It ended up just being Johnny and I because James and Parker had to work, but I really enjoyed it. Johnny brought along his new puppy! He is a 10 week old pitbull named Juba. He is SO precious, and became my new bff. I fell in love with that puppy... and he loved me. He wanted to be near me the whole night! He even slept on my lap during the bible study. The community group was very cool. A lot of people weren't there today, though. It was a variety of ages too, which was kind of cool. There was an older married couple (they had highschool/college aged kids) and 2 recent OBU grads. When James and Parker come, and hopefully a few others, there will be a good amount of college kids. Anyway, I enjoyed it a lot. I even spoke up a few times and shared some of my thoughts. I was proud for not being too shy. The lesson was a continuation of Sundays sermon, so it was tight. I am excited to see what God does through this!