I am not ready

I still don't feel like I am going back to school soon. It is seriously so surreal. I am just not connecting with the fact that I am headed out of state on Monday. I don't really want that reality to set in, though. I am not looking forward to it at all. I realize some people can't wait to get back, and that is great for them, but I am not one of those people. This is my home, and I love it so much! Plus, the coming years are going to be so very different. I am just not ready for all the change. But, I can't think about that just yet. I am trying so hard to live these last few days in the moment, just enjoying every ounce of time I get to spend with the people I love.

This year is strange because I honestly feel like I am going to be a freshman all over again. I am going into a situation where I don't know my roommates, and I don't really have any friends. I think I blocked last year out. Not in the sense that I don't remember anything from last year, but in the sense that looking back, it all just felt like a dream! It is so weird.

Although the reality of school has yet to hit me, the fact that I have to say goodbye to people has suddenly become all too real. Zach's party was very fun last night, but it was also the setting of my first official "goodbye" of the summer. I stayed strong through the party, and had a blast, but when I got home I just had to cry a little. I was surprisingly ok with it. I am going to miss so many people. This summer has been great, and I have really gotten a lot closer to a few people I didn't expect to! As hard as it may be to leave them, I wouldn't trade it for anything! I feel like I might be a tad emotional on Sunday... but oh well.

I am going to enjoy these last few days with everyone! I will try and remain positive about it all, but I will also cry when I need to. I think it will be a good balance.

Now I am off to La Ha with the besties. :)