Is this real life?

By that I mean: am I seriously starting nursing school in the morning?! Where did the time go? Don't get me wrong, I am so glad that these past two years are over and done with. But let's face it, they went by fast! I am hoping that these next two years will go by fast as well. I am excited to get into my major and start learning very practical things, but I am also really intimidated. I have heard such awful horror stories of this year. My goal is to not get to into my head about it before class even starts. I want to be able to just focus and do what I need to do.

I am encouraged that through all the chaos and stress my Lord is my stronghold. He will lift me out of the miry clay and place my feet on solid ground. My prayer is that my focus remain on the Lord, regardless of what my emotions are doing. And let's be honest, lately my emotions are doing whatever the heck they want. But I do not want my emotions to lead me going into this semester. I am so grateful that the Lord is steadfast in His love and never changing. This semester will test me greatly, but my hope is that through it I will grow ten fold.

I have so many thoughts I would love to be able to write out, but I can't quite put it all into words. So, I will probably wait and just post after I get going with school. I will let you all know how it goes. If you would like, pray for me through this semester! It is going to be an interesting one. I am excited to see what the Lord does in me this year. Love you and miss you all. Texas is not far from my heart.

ps: 14 days. 20 hours. 47 minutes.

Baby Fever Time Ten

So I finally finished Coming Back Stronger today. It. Was. Wonderful. Seriously, I totally love reading stories like this. I just really enjoying hearing (or reading) peoples stories. Everyone has really had such different experiences, so it is really neat to me to see where people come from and how they get to where they are. Plus, I am just a huge Drew Brees fan, so naturally I am a little biased. Anyway, to get to the point, I was finishing up the book today and came to a part of the book in which Drew tells the story of when he found out about his wife's second pregnancy. Maybe it is just because I totally have baby fever, but I just started crying as I read this. So, naturally, I figured I would share with the rest of you! Enjoy ;)

"By the time I got home that night it was really late, but I wasn't about to sleep. My mind was whirling, trying to take in everything that had happened. Not long after nodding off, I woke to the sound of Brittany and Baylen enjoying a loud, music-filled breakfast. They like to play the sound track from Glee, with Brittany singing at the top of her lungs while Baylen throws food all over the floor and claps. Life is good. I came downstairs and held Brittany in my arms for a long time.

"We did it," I said.

" I know, baby. I am so proud of you. You are so blessed- do you know that?" Then after a

pause, she said, "How did you manage to win the Super Bowl and get your wife pregnant?"

I stared at her.

"That's right. I just took a pregnancy test. Baby Brees number two was there with us at the game."

I had no words. I held her as the tears gathered in my eyes. She was right-I am truly blessed."

Just retyping that made me tear up all over again. I just loved that. I mean, I loved all of the book... but specifically that part just warmed my heart. Simply beautiful.

and ps: 17 days. 21 hours. 34 minutes. It is almost here. ;)

Waiting in anticipation

Thanks to the New Orleans Saints website, I now have the official countdown for the kickoff of the 2010 season. 21 days. 8 hours. 48 minutes.

Football season is so close I can almost taste it. That is why (even though everyone judges me) I do love preseason. It is a small dose of the thing I am so eagerly awaiting. It helps to build the excitement. What is not to love? Plus, in preseason you get to see the guys who are truly fighting for their jobs. You see the nobody's who have been counted out work hard to reach their dream. It is awesome! Plus, that mentality that is seen in these players during the preseason can really lend itself to some pretty fantastic plays. And that, my friends, is inspiring.

To add to my football season anticipation, I have been reading Drew Brees's book, Coming Back Stronger. It has been an awesome read so far. You probably don't care, but I have loved it. And let's be honest, that's what matters. ;)

And now, I want to leave you with the last image I recall from the 2009 season. What a wonderful day. And let me tell you... it never gets old! :)

Good things come to those who wait

It is finally here! The ridiculously long overdue blog post I keep mentioning. Patience is a virtue, and I sure have tested yours. But don't fret, the wait is over my friend!

The Plunge 2010:

Camp was beyond wonderful. I am so blessed that I was able to take the week and be there for both junior high and high school. The Lord really did a lot that week and I am so grateful that I was able to witness all that I did. Let me begin with Junior High camp, and per usual, I will stick with the list format.

1. I was the camp nurse. It wasn't my favorite, but I was glad I could serve in a different way.

2. As the camp nurse, I got my own room. And my own bathroom. Victory (in Jesus). But, being the humble and kind hearted person that I am, I was more than willing to share my private bathroom with my two best friends that also happened to be there. You are welcome, LG and DG ;)

3. I discovered that junior high kids are really terrible about remembering to take there meds. Each night was a late night tracking these kids down.

4. I had one boy who had an asthma attack while at camp. He had to wait it out for an hour and half for his mom to drive up to bring him what he needed. The good thing about the whole experience is that I was able to talk with him a lot and get to know him pretty well.

5. There were a lot of junior highers that came to know the Lord at camp, and ultimately, that's what its all about! Praise Him! :)

Now for high school camp:

1. Being a team leader for high schoolers was absolutely wonderful! It was such a blessing to have this opportunity!

2. My team was Amazon River. We ended up getting 3rd in rec, which wasn't half bad if I do say so myself. Especially considering the fact that we didn't really win a lot of games. I was really proud of my team for their attitudes all week. They all had so much spirit. We even had a few boys take over and lead on team in cheers and excitement. It warmed my heart. We really were able to have a lot of fun.

3. My co-leader was also pretty tight. He came with Bay Area church. He was older (his daughter was actually a student at camp), but he was a really good balance for me. We were basically total opposites, which I think worked well for our team. It just seemed to work. I was a little hesitant being paired with someone I had never met or heard of, but it really was a good experience!

4. I was able to get to know one girl on my team really well. I had known her before camp, but the Lord really worked it out so that I could get to know her much better. It is funny how being able to talk with someone else, encourage them and pray with them always seems to bless us just as much. I was so grateful for that.

5. There were also 3 boys on my team who I got to kind of "call out" the last night. These 3 guys were great to be around all week. They were natural leaders within our group as well as outside of our team. I also was really encouraged by how insightful they were on spiritual things. All in all, I was really encouraged to be around them. I was able to talk to them specifically about what had been on my heart for them that week. They have such potential to be strong spiritual leaders and my heart just ached for them to step into that leadership role and recognize the call on their lives. They were all really receptive to what I had to say to them, which I was grateful for.

6. Luke Johnson was the speaker. If you have ever heard him, you know that it was wonderful. He is an absolutely fantastic preacher. I think we could all tell that though he was able to communicate so effectively, the Spirit had total control over everything he was saying. I know I certainly got a lot out of everything that he said. He was such a blessing to have at camp. I wish I could put into words all that I learned while I was there, but just take my word on it.

7. Lauren, Luke's wife, was able to come with him this year. Also such a blessing. She is so sweet! I got to talk with her a bit during the volleyball tournament. She is just so easy to talk to and be around. She just has a warm and welcoming spirit about her.

8. Camp was totally exhausting, but the Lord was faithful to provide us with the energy we needed for each day. There is part of me that loves being that gross and hot and tired. It makes you feel like you've accomplished something. With that being said, I loved getting home and taking a shower and a nap.

9. The best part of camp were all the salvations. I don't know the total number or anything... but we had 2 students on my team get saved! It was truly wonderful! :)

The Wedding:

1. Let me just say that after being IN a wedding, my wedding fever has probably quadrupled.

2. Being in a wedding is way more stressful than attending a wedding. For what thats worth.

3. The wedding planner was absolutely crazy. In fact, we referred to her drill sergeant Pam. That's pretty much the only way to describe her. She was so intense. But I will give her some credit. She was ver well prepared and organized.

4. The wedding went well. Only one minor thing went wrong in the ceremony, but even that was solved quickly. Things rand smoothly and I think Kelly and Ryan enjoyed the day.

5. After we left the wedding, me and DG were suddenly way more clear on what we want for our respective weddings. That is always fun.

6. We headed home right after the reception. That was a little rough because we were so exhausted and it was dark out, but thanks to caffeine and blaring music we were able to make it home safe and sound.

That is all for the update for now. I will try and blog a little more as the summer comes to an end. But, clearly I haven't been very reliable in that respect, so try not to hold your breathe. ;)

Sorry for the delay

I know I promised a blog update, and it will happen eventually, but not just yet.

I don't have excuses other than the fact that I have been lazy/tired/distracted.

I plan to update on the following:

1. Camp.

2. The wedding.

3. The many, many things I have been learning this summer.

4. My thoughts/feelings/attitudes/expectations of the coming year.

So for now, just enjoy the new background and wait in eager anticipation for the long overdue update.

Just a tease

It has been an incredibly long time since I have blogged. I guess I have just felt like I haven't had anything too significant to say. But, I just got back from j.high and high school camp, so I all of the sudden have tons to say! Unfortunately for now I am just too tired to process all that has happened at put it in to words. I promise I will post a legitimate blog about all things camp soon! I will leave you with this, though:

The Lord did some mighty things this past week. There were numerous salvations (hallelujah!). There was only one serious injury between both camps and even that ended up fine. Lives were radically changed by the power of the Gospel. This goes for both the people who came to camp already saved and those who received Christ while at camp. I am so blown away by all that the Lord did over these 8 days and my hearts cry is that all of these students continue to grow, even when they get home. I am praying against the "camp high." So many students were changed, but I have a feeling that many leaders were as well. Beautiful week. I am overflowing with joy.

More to come...

In Jesus I Will Find My Home

It has been a while, so let me just briefly recap the past few weeks with things I have experienced/learned:

1. This summer has not been what I expected at all. Things are different everywhere I look. HNW is different. I am living in a different house. The people I see regularly are different. I am different. It has been easy for me to get a little overwhelmed by all the change going on around me... BUT I am comforted that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).

2. I went to Arlington yesterday (Monday) with the Junior High kids. Basically, I got to hang out with the student interns all day. Very fun indeed. I have been surprised by how easily I have hit it off with all three of them. It normally takes me quite a while to relax around people I don't know, but so far so good. That has certainly been a blessing so far this summer.

3. Things have been a little tough for me (and a few others I know) early on this summer. Through it all I am reminded that His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). The peace that provides has been astounding.

4. My uncle Sam and beautiful cousin Izzy come in tomorrow. I am SO excited. I saw Sam a few weeks ago, but I haven't seen my precious cousin since Thanksgiving. Ah! I can't wait. She is going to be 9 in a just a few short months... man, time flies! Love them. So pumped to see them.

5. Speaking of wonderful people coming in town, my bffae gets here Friday. There is no possible way I could put my excitement into words, so I won't even try. All I can say is that I am so ready for Friday!

6. I have been really slacking on my reading and my yoga. I feel like I have fairly legit excuses, but nonetheless I need to get back act together! ha.

7. Pen Pals are wonderful. I need to get some stationary so I can put it to good use with my dear roommate, Casie, and Amanda while she is at camp. Writing letters is great. I just need to be a little more disciplined about it.

8. I got to talk (I mean text) with both Casie and Lauren for a good amount of time today. Gosh, I miss them a lot. But, Casie is having a wonderful time in New Orleans and the Lord is really doing a great work in her and through her. Lauren has also been blessed with a pretty great job and some sweet time with her family. I couldn't be happier for them both.

9. I just want everyone to know how much I truly love Freeze Pops. Seriously. Possibly the greatest invention of all time. They have provided me with ridiculous amounts of joy lately. Simply wonderful.

10. I think the biggest thing I have been learning this summer is that Jesus, not hnw or my house or my friends, is my "safe place", my "home." I have spent much of summer thus far discouraged. I have felt out of place and lonely. It really caught me off guard because I always considered my church, my home and my friends to be my safe place... the one thing I could count on. And while none of those things are bad, the Lord has been breaking me down and showing me that HE is my constant. He is the one thing I can count on and turn to. It has been a tough lesson for me to learn (and I am still learning), but I have needed this. He has just been telling me over and over the past week or so that He is my safe place. In Jesus I will find my home.

Let's Get Real

As most of you already know, I am a huge fan of Jimmy Needham. My excitement has only increased since I went to the concert last week and as I have been listening to the new CD. Anyway, I was reading through his website the other day and noticed a cool section called “behind the music.” Here he talks about the story behind the songs he has written. In the description of the song “Before and After” he referred to a big part of his testimony, and in another part of the website he provided a more in depth look into his past. I will let you go read it for yourself later, but it really got me thinking and so I decided to share what the Lord has laid on my heart through this.

Reading Jimmy’s testimony filled me with joy, even though his past experiences were not exactly joyful. My joy is not in his struggle, but rather in these two things: The way the Lord rescued him from his past and redeemed his soul, and his openness and honesty about where he came from. This post isn’t going to focus on Jimmy directly, but considering that reading about his life started this entire thought process for me, I decided to give a little of the background. I was so excited reading through his account of his past sins and his freedom in Christ. Here is a man who I am a big fan of, who I admire greatly and who is a solid spiritual leader in our world today being completely transparent and real. Wow. It blows my mind and refreshes my soul to see such honesty; especially coming from someone in a position where honesty could be shocking to many. His story and his openness got me thinking about the Church as a whole. I am sure all of what I am about to say has been said many times before, and much more eloquently, but I am going to go for it anyway.

A problem I see among believers today is our utter refusal to be transparent before our Lord and one another. We as a Church (myself most of all) are completely consumed by a need to have it all together all the time. We have become masters at hiding our sin and struggles from everyone around us for fear that we will no longer fit into our image of the put together believer. Our focus and our pursuits are aimed at maintaining an image rather than being bare before our Father. What is wrong with that picture? Is maintaining an ideal really more important to us than maintaining an open and honest relationship with both our Lord and our fellow believers? I fear that this has become the case far too often these days. It breaks my heart that we are a people afraid of transparency. We like to be clean and covered up at all times. The only problem is that this is stunting our growth, spiritually speaking.

I don’t think that we like to get too personal with the topic of sin. We have become really good at acknowledging it as something powerful in our world today and as something that only God can free us from, but we don’t like to relate the topic too much to our individual lives. Or, if we do, we certainly don’t like to share it with anyone else. Somewhere along the way we related a struggle with sin to weakness. Well, what is wrong with that? Where we are weak HE is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9) A struggle with sin has become something that we need to deal with on our own, something we need to keep under control so no one notices, something that shouldn’t be discussed because it might reflect poorly on us. We need to change our attitude! We, the Church, need to stop trying to neaten up the mess in our lives and we need to expose it for what it is. The more we try and cover it up, the darker our sin becomes. We need light. We need freedom. We need Jesus. We can’t conquer sin. We are only human- imperfect and fallen. BUT, sin has been defeated and death has been conquered through our Lord and Savior. We need to rejoice in that, which means acknowledging our sin- naming it and claiming victory in it. Victory is ours and if we would stop trying to put on an act for the rest of the world, we could finally hold fast to that Truth and be transformed forever. So what are we waiting for?

First and foremost, our sin needs to be acknowledged before the Father. This means praying it and naming it. To me, and I imagine to many others, naming our sin can sometimes be terrifying, but I feel as though it is so crucial. It needs to be exposed for exactly what it is. Confession is our first step to freedom from whatever it is that seems to be entangling us. Next, through the Lord’s endless grace, we must repent- turn away- be changed from the inside out. Freedom.

We were not created to be alone in this world. God created Eve so that Adam would not be alone, so that he would have a helper (Genesis 2:18). We know this, so why do we still try and do life on our own? Why do we try and battle our sin on our own? Let’s talk about it. Let’s lean on one another as the body of Christ and do life together. That means all of life, not just the fun stuff. If we are battling sin in our life, we need to talk about it. I am not saying that we need to get on stage and announce to everyone our deep dark secrets, but we need to be real, be transparent, be honest. We as the Church are one. One body and one purpose. Let’s stop going to church on Sunday morning focused on acting like we have it all together if we know we are fighting between our flesh and the Spirit in us. I would rather see a body of broken and contrite people bowing before the Lord, confessing and repenting, than a body of people with a bunch of smiles on our faces. And if through God’s Grace we find that we are not wrestling with a particular sin or temptation in our life, then I pray we have compassion for those that are. If we are in a season where we are not struggling with something particular, we need to be ready to serve our fellow believers as they battle. We need to be accountable and we need to be that accountability for others. We need to pour Truth into them and be prayer warriors for them. We need to walk beside them as the Lord leads them through their struggle. We need to get rid of our judgmental hearts and share their burden. Through God’s grace and mercy we need to fight this together.

This may not mean anything to anyone reading this, but this has just been heavy on my heart. I want to stop acting. I want it to be ok for the body of Christ to admit where we are falling short in our own lives and strive together to claim victory over our sin. What people say or think about us based on our struggle shouldn’t matter. We, as believers, shouldn’t look down on our brothers and sisters based on their sin, because let’s face it, we all have plenty we have tried to hide (Matthew 7:1-3). I respect Jimmy Needham for being so real about sin in his life and I rejoice with him in the freedom and victory he has experienced. I need to work on this in my own life, I will be the first to admit, but let’s start being transparent before our God and before one another.

Preparing for the Unexpected

Summer 2010 has begun and I have this feeling that I am going to have a rather interesting summer ahead of me. I really can't put it into words, all I can say is that I feel like this summer is going to be like nothing I would have expected. There is this part of me that just feels like the Lord is stirring in my heart to prepare me for something. I have no idea what, and I could be way off base, but it is just a feeling I have. I also feel like this summer is going to (hopefully) teach me a lot. Again, I can't really explain the reasoning behind this, all I know is that I feel like there is a lot I need to learn and a lot that He wants to show me through these next few months. I pray that my heart is ready and receptive to whatever He has for me. I just feel like this is going to be the summer of the unexpected. With that I am finding myself spending much time in prayer, working to surrender myself, my plans, my hopes, my fears and my expectations to the Lord. Relinquishing all of this is proving to be a bit of a challenge, but the more time I spend wrestling in prayer, the more I feel the Lord pulling at my heart. Pray with me in this time if you feel led. :)

I have been home for a little over a week now. I started work last Monday and I move into my new house this coming Monday. Needless to say, things have been a tad chaotic, but it's good to home nonetheless. I have really been blessed in my job this summer, but I am learning with each day how important it is going to be for me to continually draw my strength from the Lord and not myself. I can't pour out of myself if I am not being fed by His Word and His Spirit. Anyway, I am excited to serve where I am this summer. There are a lot of changes coming, but it certainly adds a level of excitement I suppose.

I got to see Jimmy Needham in concert on Tuesday. I am sure everyone has heard me talk about this at length already, but it was truly wonderful. If I had to pick a favorite musician, it would be him. So, to have the opportunity to be at his concert and then meet him afterwards was an incredible blessing to me. One thing I loved (other than his music, of course) is how it was all set up. There were a few times he basically started preaching to us. It was pretty legit. It was just obvious that the Lord had placed a lot on his heart for him to share and I don't really know how to explain it, but it just really warmed my heart to hear all the Lord was saying through him. It also completely warmed my heart to hear how he talked about his wife and their marriage. It was encouraging and touching. He also did a little Q&A time, which was basically just fun. He was incredibly nice when we met him, even if he did make fun of me a bit for breaking his cd case ;). All in all it was one of the best nights I have had. Also, if you haven't checked out the new cd, you need to. It is SO good.

College pancake breakfast last night. It was pretty chill and low key, but it got me pumped for this summer. I am excited to be a part of the Thursday night college group. I think it is going to be a really good time of fellowship and study and I can't wait to share it with some of my friends.

Speaking of friends, my best friend comes home next weekend. Thank you, Lord! :) I am so ready to see DG.

The Decision Has Been Made

If you have talked to me at all this past year, you have known that I have really struggled in regards to where I would be going to church. I know what you are thinking, "it's the end of your sophmore year, how have you not found a church home yet?" Well, before you judge me too quickly, hear me out. Almost everyone I know here has struggled to find a church home. There are not a lot of solid options in Shawnee, and driving to the city is not always the most practical option. Anyway, I have gone to church just about every Sunday this year (rare exceptions where I just couldn't get a ride), but every time I would go to Frontline, I just had this uneasiness and uncertainty about the whole. I couldn't really articulate it for the whole year, all I knew was that something wasn't quite right. I tried to talk myself out of my concerns and justify any anxiety I had because I couldn't entirely figure out what was wrong with Frontline. Basically I has just been in a constant state of questioning whether or not this was the church for me. I had also been spending my year in prayer about where in the world I need to be for church. Well, I think I have finally arrived at an answer. Today, my friend Amanda and I went to Heritage Church (here in Shawnee). After we left, we both decided that it was time to leave Frontline and make the move to Heritage!

A bit of background: Heritage was the first church I went to semi consistently while at college. I went most of the first semester my freshman year, and a little bit into my second semester. I think it was around April when we first started going to Frontline. At first I was all on board. It seemed cool and I thought it could be a good move. I came back in August and we kept going and with each week I felt more and more uncomfortable. Amanda and I would talk about it a bit here and there and we recently came to the conclusion that we had similar views on Frontline and both had a desire to go somewhere else. We both really liked Heritage (and weren't exactly sure why we left in the first place), so we decided to branch out and go on our own today. Good decision? absolutely.

So, here is my attempt to break down my reasons for leaving Frontline and choosing Heritage:

Community: This is definitely one of the biggest parts to my decision. You see, Frontline never provided me with a sense of community. It just wasn't really their focus. I guess you could say they were more focused on evangelism rather than discipleship. This isn't to say Frontline is bad for having that focus, but they just weren't as concerned with building us up as a body. There were not a lot of opportunities to get plugged in anywhere and building relationships seemed nearly impossible. Frontline was not a very relational church. Again, I am in no way dissing them as a church... I am just saying, for me, I placed a much more significance in community than I felt I was getting there. Now, Heritage on the other hand, has a huge emphasis on community, and let me tell you, you could feel it the moment you walked in. They place great stock in unity as a body of Christ, with one heart and one purpose. They also have a lot more community opportunities. For example, they have Sunday school. Ha, it is such a simple thing, but still! I would really like that. They have homegroups on Sunday nights. They have a women's bible study on Wednesday night. Basically there are many opportunities for me to plug in and build relationships with other believers. Plus, it is a pretty small church, so that only increases my opportunities. A lot of OBU students also go to Heritage. Pretty cool, eh?

Doctrine: Heritage is a place where I actually feel like I can stand behind their doctrine. This is huge for me, because I was never entirely sure about this when it came to Frontline. When Pastor Josh (the lead pastor) would speak, I felt pretty secure that he was speaking Truth, but he didn't speak every Sunday. The days he didn't speak, I never knew for sure what we were going to get. We had a couple of instances there where we (Amanda and I specifically) left completely freaked out but some things that had been said during the service. I don't have that constant concern at Frontline. It was wonderful to be there today and be at total ease with the message, knowing it was something I could stand behind.

The Pastor: The pastor at Frontline was Josh. I like him a lot and I liked his sermons. He is definitely more of a charismatic speaker than the pastor of Heritage (Jay), but that alone wasn't enough to convince me to stay. I can always listen to Josh's podcasts if I really want to. Jay is an extremely personable guy. He gives very good sermons, even if sometimes he gets off on slight tangents. Ha. I still have no problems following him and I get a lot out of his messages. I feel like Jay is a pastor who I could have a conversation with. That is definitely appealing to me! I don't know, I just really like him. haha.

The LACK of charisma: Frontline is a very, very charismatic church. I am not going to lie, I am not a huge fan of that style. I feel like there is such a fine line that they sometimes would cross. I just never felt particularly comfortable with all of that. Heritage is not a charismatic church. I like it. I don't really know how to articulate this point all that well, so if you want you can just ask me about it and I can try and talk you through my thoughts with this.

Location and Size: Heritage is in Shawnee. Now that is a big deal! Even if Frontline offered a ton of opportunities for community, I couldn't participate because it is simply too far away. Heritage is about 10 minutes from campus. Perfect. I can get plugged in easier with a church in the same city my school is in. Also, I don't have to wake up ridiculously early to get to church. Sweet. As I have pointed out before, Heritage is also pretty small. It is definitely different from Northwest, but I kind of like it. Again, I feel like it only increases the opportunities to build relationships. It also gives me the feeling that this place is much more 'real.' Now, I am NOT saying a big church can't be "real." HNW is a big church, but it is a real church. But, I think the size of Heritage contributes to that overall feeling of the church.

The Shutt Family: Sarah, my dear friend here (it's her kids in the previous blog) and her husband go to Heritage. In fact, her husband has now become the Associate Pastor of the church. I adore them and I trust them so much. To me, it is just further confirmation that I am making the right choice.

I left church this morning with a huge sense of peace. I had been wanting that ALL year, and the fact that I finally got it at Heritage was so exciting. Again, I don't dislike Frontline; it's just not the church for me and I am glad that I can finally say that and finally have a place to plug in to... even if it is a little late in the game. ;)

Again, my thoughts in this blog were so jumbled... so how about we just talk about it in person and I can try and explain myself a little better!

Beautiful Day!

Today was so wonderful! The sun was shining and my classes were cancelled. It was basically a recipe for joy. Anyway, I was relatively productive during the morning, then unintentionally napped during the afternoon. Around 3, Sarah called me and asked if I wanted to come over and see her and her new baby, Henry! I was SO excited because I had really been wanting to see him. He will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. It is so crazy! I went over and saw him. He was asleep when I got there, so I just held him for about an hour while Sarah and I got to catch up. It was so wonderful. He is such a good baby! He hardly cries at all. He kind of whines when he needs something, but he doesn't cry much. Sarah also told me that he sleeps a lot and has even slept through the night already, which is pretty impressive. So, I just held him as he slept. He is unbelievably precious. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. After a while, Sarah and I walked back over to my dorm with Henry and her daughter, Cora. Some of the RA's of my dorm wanted to see him, so we headed over. While I was there, all Cora wanted to do was play with me. So I chased her around my dorm for about an hour. She spun me around in a chair, she wanted to see my room, she wore my purse (which was bigger than her), she took all the magnets off of our fridge and she played on every one of our beds. I had so much fun with her! She takes a while to warm up to people (she is only 3), but she actually likes to see me now. Let me just say, there is nothing like getting the approval of a child! They have this amazing ability to drastically increase your confidence. They can also make you feel so loved and so special. Spending time with Sarah and her kids warmed my heart so much today! Here are some pictures to highlight my beautiful day! Enjoy!

Yahweh Jireh

As you know, this past weekend was Breaking Free:Charade. I am pretty much at a loss for words, but I am going to attempt to post about the weekend. Forgive me in advance if this is really jumbled.

Before this weekend, the Lord had really been working in my own heart. Teaching me and showing me how to trust Him fully, regardless of my circumstances. He had been teaching me what it means to "pray continually." He had been quietly assuring me that He is faithful. So, I went into this weekend with a peace that surpasses all understanding, ready to serve these kids. I really had no idea what was waiting for us all this weekend.

When DG and I made it to the church Friday morning (after having a wonderful trip down from dallas together) we did some work and had some lunch and met the other leaders. It was all pretty chill. Later in the afternoon, James had the leaders participate in the Prayer Labyrinth that the students would be participating in the next day. Most of us didn't finish because we ran out of time, but I enjoyed the parts I got to! One of the first stations involved us writing a name for God in which we have experienced or in which we need to experience. I wrote: Yahweh Jireh- The Lord will Provide. It ended up being really awesome to see it up on stage on Saturday after the high schoolers had written on it. Riley has some pictures if you haven't already checked it out. It overwhelmed me reading through it and just feeling such reverence for the Lord.

I had the 8th grade girls this weekend. A lot of the time I felt like I was talking to a brick wall, which was rather discouraging at times. It was like pulling teeth trying to get these girls to talk to me. All of these girls also come from Christian homes and go to the Christian school that is at the church. So, I found that to be challenging in its own way. The most I could get out of them was "sunday school answers." Getting them to go any deeper was pretty much impossible. However, when I met to James and Ashley Sunday before we left, I felt a bit better about it. They know these girls and know exactly where I was coming from in my discouragement. One thing I can trust in is the fact the regardless of how much they opened up this weekend, the Lord definitely planted seeds in each one of them. I will just continue to pray that it would just "click" for them and God would turn their hearts to focus fully on Him.

One thing that stood out the most to me this weekend was worship on Saturday. Kevin, our speaker, had delivered a really good message. I got a lot out of it and I could tell that the students were as well. After Kevin spoke, some students needed to talk/pray so I went outside with one girl. We got to talk and pray for a while and then we came back in. When I walked into that room, I just had to stop for a minute. I was so completely overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord in that room. I looked around and I saw broken hearts and students crying out to the Lord. It brought tears to my eyes. I walked to the back of the room and all I could do was fall on my knees before the Lord. I found that each song the band played was exactly what I wanted/needed to pray. It was wonderful. I was just in such awe and completely overwhelmed with the the presence of the Lord in that room. God was moving mightily in there. Praise Him!

Sunday morning, some of the high school students led worship. After witnessing that, I was reminded how grateful I was for our band that came this weekend! They lead with such humility. I forgot how important that was, until I saw what it could be like without it. ha. But seriously, Molly, Katie, Nathan, Trey, Zach and Riley were SUCH a blessing this weekend. Forget the fact that they sounded wonderful (as they always do), but they truly came to serve, and it warmed by heart to see. Anyway, I loved having them there. On a selfish note, I was also really glad to hang out with them a little bit and have fun.

Sunday, a bunch of students also came up and shared a little bit of their testimonies from this weekend. It touched me SO much. I got to here from a couple of kids who had been saved! Praise God! It was beautiful! Goodness. I also got to here from kids who finally realized all that God has in store for them and their hearts were changed. We also got to here from a mini John Piper! This kid was legit. Anyway, it was incredible to here all that the Lord had done in those 2 days.

Anyway, there is so much more I could say, but my thoughts are way to jumbled. Basically, God is GOOD and so Faithful! This weekend also provided some great affirmation in my life. This year has been an incredible year of growth and learning for me! I am also learning so much about the power of prayer! It is wonderful. I feel like I am a totally different person and I couldn't be more grateful for the Lord relentlessly pursuing me and breaking my heart. Gosh. I am just speechless for all He has and continues to do!

Breaking Free!

First off, I had a great birthday! It was definitely different, and it didn't feel like a birthday by any means, but it was good. God really provided some really wonderful people in my life to help make this day special. I am so blessed in that. Special thanks to:

1. Danielle Weghorst, my best friend. There are no words.

2. Casie Trotter, my precious roommate. She gave me a wonderful gift and she's been so encouraging to me.

3. Lauren Loughridge, my other dear roommate. I loved getting to share our birthdays in the same week. She is such a blessing!

4. Amanda Layman and Kacie Jo for sharing a birthday meal with me.

5. Zachary, Trey and DG for their prayers over me.

6. Molly Roberts for finding the time to call me and tell me happy birthday.

I have completely avoided studying all day. I need to get on that so I don't bomb my test tomorrow! yikes!

I am SO excited for this weekend! I am ready to see God move in the lives of these students and really change hearts, including my own. I can't wait to meet these girls and really pour into them and share the wonder of God's love with them. It will be awesome!

In preparation for this weekend, I will be taking part in a media fast all day Thursday. Only Christian music. No TV. No movies. No FB. No Twitter. No blogging. Only using my phone for important communication (ie, when I am traveling and need to keep my family updated). Let's all be praying for this weekend! God is mighty to save! :)

Can you believe it?!

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my teenage years. It is a little surreal, especially because it doesn't feel like my birthday at all! It's been quite the journey so far, I must say. I have no real complaints about my life up until this point, but I am so ready to be a "young adult." I am over being a teenager. I feel so much older than 19, so it will be nice to actually BE older than 19.

Adulthood brings a lot of responsibility with it! Kind of terrifying. Haha. But bring it on I suppose.

Mostly I am excited about flying to Dallas on Thursday and heading to Houston. This weekend will be good! I am excited to see the Lord at work in the lives of these students, as well as the leaders and band. Plus, it is just an added bonus that I get to be with DG on her 20th birthday. Such a blessing.

If you think about it, keep praying for my dad and stepmom. It turns out the moving van will be in Boston on Saturday and they will be Texas bound. Things just seem to keep getting worse and problem after problem keeps appearing. It is just an incredibly stressful and overwhelming experience for all involved right now. Pray for job opportunities and pray for peace. God is faithful. He is good.

I think I have a problem.

I am pretty much only attracted to guys that look like total tools. seriously. It is totally ridiculous. I don't know what it is. This is a concerning issue.

But hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? ;)

Overwhelmed.

This weekend will be interesting.

For the first time, OBU is giving us Good Friday off. :)

My roommates are leaving. I will be alone.

I am not going to church on Easter Sunday for the first time since probably 3rd grade. I somehow agreed to do child care at this church with this girl Amanda. I am not thrilled about this, but it's ok. I will have to be really conscious of making time for the Lord on my own on Sunday. It will be different. I pray God will use this time to teach me more about Himself... even though I won't be in a church setting. I pray that I am able to reflect on the meaning and the power or Easter on my own.

I did lent for the first time this year. I gave up all carbonated beverages. The first 3 weeks felt kind of like torture to me. I totally missed the whole point of the practice of lent. In fact, the only reason I stuck it out was because I was too prideful to back out of my commitment. However, the past 2 weeks have been much more fruitful. The horrors of not being able to drink Dr. Pepper has faded and I have had time to think about the meaning behind this all. I am glad I stuck it out, even if the beginning was a little shaky.

I have a ton to do in regards to school. Hopefully I use my time wisely over this 3 day weekend. I really need to stay on top of things before BF. Luckily, I love to plan, so I am ahead on my homework and paper writing thus far, but I need to make sure I do not loose steam between now and this weekend.

As much as I want to be productive over break, I really need to make time to be in the Word and be in prayer. I have been trying to ignore it, I have been getting attacked from all sides lately. Details really aren't important (and if you have talked to me at all you know bits and pieces), but I desperately need some peace.

So, if you don't mind, pray with me this weekend. Pray for me. Pray for my family. Pray as I begin to prepare for breaking free. Pray as I spend this Easter Sunday differently than I have before.

Bring on the sunshine

It has been a while. So I suppose I am do for a boring update, so bear with me.

• Spring break was wonderful. It was so relaxing. I didn't really do much once I got to Houston other than hanging out with DG during the weekend and Danica once during the week, but I am definitely not complaining. I got to see my cousin and uncle. And I got to sleep. Words cannot describe how wonderful it was.
• I came back to Oklahoma in the middle of blizzard. It was basically awful. Definitely not the welcome back that I was looking for. Luckily, my roommate Lauren was the one to pick me up from the airport and I stayed with her Saturday night and we came back to school Sunday. Coming back to a friendly face made it easier to be back.
• Sunday night, Lauren, Casie and I got to actually hang out. We ordered pizza and watched He's Just No That Into You. It was a nice was to kick off this last half of the semester.
• Getting back into the swing of things is a little difficult. I am not totally in school mode yet. We will see how this works out...
• In nursing lab today, we fed each other pudding and brushed each others teeth. It was truly ridiculous. No one could get through it without laughing hysterically. It was awesome. I wish we had a camera in there today!
• In April, OBU is holding this event called Up Till Dawn. It is a massive fundraiser for St. Jude Children's Hospital. Well, today, my friend Jenna (one of the co-chairs for the event) asked me if I would be a team leader for the event. Basically, I get a team together of 5 people including myself. In April, we go to the wellness center here with all the other teams and address a bunch of envelopes to people we know and send out letters asking for donations to this wonderful hospital! Of course I was more than thrilled to be a part of this! I am so excited. It is such a great cause. This hospital does so much for children with cancer. I would love to work at this hospital one day, actually. So anyway, be warned, YOU may be getting a letter towards the end of April. ;) oh, and if you want to know more about the hospital, check it our here: http://www.stjude.org/about
• Over springbreak, I started the Peasant Princess series that Mark Driscoll did. As of last night, I am half way done. I was pretty adequately warned about the shocking things in this series, so nothing has really caught me off guard. Due to that, I have really been able to enjoy the series without being distracted by the bluntness used. It has been really encouraging and challenging, even as a single person. I am excited to keep going with this. I feel like I have been learning a lot and looking at things I have already known in different ways. It was been really cool.
• Last but not least, my birthday is coming up. 2 weeks from tomorrow, to be exact. I am ready to no longer be a teenager! :)

Oh Springbreak

This will probably be the most chill break I will have had in a long time. This weekend was semi-eventful in getting to Houston, but other than that I am not planning on doing anything. Danielle and I had a wonderful time, and I am so grateful for that. I even got to hang out with Danica and Jeremy Sunday night. Then my cousin and uncle came Monday and left this morning, which was a blessing. My cousin is so fun these days. Other than that, I don't plan on doing anything at all while I am home. It turns out though that I have A LOT I need to get done while I am in town, and very little time to get it all done. It is kind of overwhelming. My flight Saturday is at 4, so I have to leave my house around 1, so I pretty much only have Wednesday-Friday to get everything I need to done! Yikes. and I haven't even thought about homework yet. Ha. Man, I really hope I can find enough hours in the day to get it all done. I have also noticed that I am pretty much sleeping constantly. It is insane. I will get like 10 hours or more at night... then nap for at least 6 hours throughout the day, then still sleep at night. I guess I didn't realize how desperate my body was for rest! It has been nice.

I have decided that staying at home is a good decision for me this break. I need to use my time here wisely, and I really want to spend time with my grandparents. This is a little bit of a different springbreak than I had initially envisioned, but I am totally ok with it. I think it is the break I need. :)

I just can't wait until summer (assuming I can find a way to get out of Oklahoma...)!

What a blessing

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.

2 Corinthians 3: 4-5

This semester has gotten off to a really good start academically speaking! It has been such a wonderful blessing. I have been doing really well in all of my classes, and it is purely by God's grace. I have such a wonderful opportunity to boast in Him this semester. Last semester, I found myself in such a slump with my grades for so long. I had to work so hard to bring my grades up and I often felt discouraged. But this semester has been completely different. God is so faithful. To me, the most exciting thing about doing well in my classes is that I feel as though I definitely put in the work that is required, and by God's grace, I am able to produce the grades to back it up. I just feel like God has been sustaining me so much in my studies, and it is so exciting to see the fruit of my labor. I am so excited to be getting deeper and deeper into the nursing program. My application is due the week after springbreak and I should find out mid May whether or not I will officially enter the OBU nursing school. I feel as though I should mention, they have room for 64 students, and we only have 31 nursing majors in our class, so my chances are good, but it will be nice when it is all official.

I leave for Dallas tomorrow. Basically, I am pumped. Seriously. Springbreak will be wonderful. Here are some of the things I am extra pumped about:

sunshine. chacos. tan lines. snow cones. family. be2010. grandpa date. movies. sleep. frozen yogurt. GH with my gma. relaxation. joy. best friends. hnw. road trip. goodness I love springbreak! :)

Long Time No Blog

I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had anything interesting to say. Well, I still don't, but I figured I was due for a simple update.

1. Life all the sudden got really crazy. The first 4 weeks of school were relatively calm. Homework, sure, but nothing major. Week 5 hits and now I have something to do/study for every day and I suddenly have no free time whatsoever. Interesting how that worked out this semester.

2. Last week my roommates and I went out on a Thursday night and had dinner at chili's (thank goodness I have a gift card!) and then went and saw Valentine's Day. I had already seen the movie once, but I really really liked it and so I wanted them to be able to see it so I went along! It was just as good the second time around. This was the first time in my entire life that I had gone out on a school night (other than when I went to abs, that is). I felt like such a rebel. ;) It was really fun though and I am so glad we did that.

3. Last weekend I was supposed to be in Houston, but that didn't work out. I was already way ahead on most of my homework since I thought I would be out of town, so I got to just sleep and chill during the weekend. It was tight. I watched and finished season 3 of Greys Anatomy. My addiction is getting a little out of hand. Luckily, my roommate doesn't have season 4 yet so I don't have to worry about that becoming a distraction. It has been fun watching the show entirely in order!

4. I was luckily enough to enjoy 2 phone calls this week from some dear friends. It is so wonderful how such a small gesture can boost your spirit. I enjoyed catching up and laughing and telling stories. I can't wait until I am actually home for springbreak and can see everyone!

5. On Thursday I had my first "clinical" as a nursing student. There were 4 of us in this round and we went to the Shawnee Free Clinic. It was a very interesting experience. Two doctors volunteer every Thursday night, but they can only see 20 patients. The nurse I was with was in charge of going through everyones charts and lab work and deciding who needed to see the doctor and who should come back next week. It was sad turning people away. We also screened a number of the patients, meaning that we interviewed them and did an initial assessment, including vital signs. I got to do the vital signs. It was pretty legit because we had to do manual BP, not just hook them up to a machine. I also got to go out in the waiting room and call patients back. It was pretty fast pace and the 2.5 hours we were there flew by! I was so nervous going into it but so excited when we left. I can't believe I will be doing this the rest of my life! :)

6. Last night my roommate and I watched The Time Travelers Wife. It was so sad! I really enjoyed it though. I was in the mood for a kind of serious movie. It was a little hard to follow, and I was confused at parts, but overall I really liked it. I kind of want to watch it again now that I get all that happened. I must say, I am so grateful I do not have a time traveling husband.

7. Housing sign ups are coming up soon! I am a little nervous because I desperately want (and kind of need) and apartment for next year. My roommates and I should be in the second group to sign up so hopefully all will work out. I need a kitchen. I need to not eat in our cafeteria every meal. And I bake when I am stressed. I need to be able to bake. It's going to be wonderful living with my roommates again next year... especially if we are in an apartment!

8. The library opens in about 10 minutes and that is where I will be headed for the rest of the day. You see, I have 5 tests in the span of Monday-Wednesday next week. It is kind of absurd. And I am pretty much overwhelmed. But it is only three days, so surely I will survive. ;) With that being said, I really need to get to work this weekend and do all I can to make the week a little more bearable.

9. Springbreak is almost hear. I can't wait. I am so ready to see DG. and then to see my wonderful grandparents. I miss them so much. I love home!

10. I almost forgot to mention this. OBU offers yoga on Mondays (and Tuesdays, but I have class when its offered Tuesdays). They can't call it yoga here, so it is called "dynamic stretch," but it is yoga. It is absolutely wonderful! I look forward to it every Monday! Gah it is so great. Talk about relaxing. I seriously love it. It is hard for sure, but I already feel like I am getting better at it. I recommend it to everyone!

Sorry for such a dull post. My life hasn't been too exciting lately. I probably won't post again this week due to lack of time, so be warned.

I am feeling legit.

I have entered the beginning stages of the OBU nursing school. This semester I have my first real "nursing" class. It is Intro to Nursing and the class portion is 3 hours long on Wednesdays and a 2 hour lab on Tuesdays. This class will allow me to get my CNA (certified nurses assistant) license at the end of the semester, and hopefully work in the hospital this summer (I hope!). This class is what the title implies, an introduction to all things nursing. I have my first shift as a nursing student on February 25 in the Shawnee Free Clinic and an 8 hour shift at the nursing home in April. It is all still a little surreal. Of course, I had to have a uniform, which includes scrubs, white shoes, and a stethoscope. Putting all of this on was SO exciting for me, and so I decided to share some pictures with you all! Enjoy! (ps: sorry if the pictures are small, I got tired of trying to fix it).

This is me in my official OBU, hunter green scrubs, along with the OBU patch on the sleeve that I sewed on all by myself! Notice the matching stethoscope, compliments of my wonderful aunt. This was ridiculously expensive, but it is so so so exciting!

This is me in my scrubs and in my PPE (personal protective equipment). These booties, hair net, mask, gown and gloves will need to be worn anytime I see a patient in isolation. I must say, wearing this makes me feel the most legit of all!

Putting all of this stuff on reminded me how excited I am to be a nurse. The process may be rather frustrating, but I am so looking forward to what is in store for me in the future. :)

Coincidence? I think not.

I got my first flu shot ever on Friday. This was not my choosing. OBU nursing school told me I had to. So I did.

Now I am sick. With many flu like symptoms.

Oh... and I think it is important to point out that I have never had the flu before.

To recap:

1. I have never had the flu before. Nor have I ever had a flu shot.

2. OBU made me get a flu shot. I did.

3. I am now sick, with what is looking like the flu.

Greatest. Day. Ever.

This was the superbowl that my family has been waiting for for the past 43 years. My pop and uncle Sam where at the first ever Saints game, and went to just about every home game over the next 20 or so years. My grandpa said that he never thought he would see this moment during his lifetime. I can't even begin to describe to you the joy felt by the entire Evans clan. My father was even giddy with excitement. I talked to him, my gma and my gpa on the phone tonight. Not a lot of words were exchanged... just a lot of screams and squeals and "oh my gosh"! It was so excited to see a city that (although I never had the opportunity to live in) I love win this game. I really like the Colts and Peyton Manning, don't get me wrong, but this means so much to the City of New Orleans and to my family as a whole. It was a beautiful sight. I have never been so emotionally invested in a game before. I don't care if that sounds dumb.

One of my favorite things was seeing Drew Brees on the podium after the win, tears in his eyes, holding his son, pure joy on his face. It was truly beautiful. Take some time and check out these pictures. They really choked me up. :)

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/players/5479/gallery/im:urn:newsml:sports.yahoo,getty:20050301:nfl,photo,27c24af700fee1176e1c2849657b6b05-getty-spo-fbn-super_bowl-xliv:1

I am also so glad that Drew won MVP. I felt that he deserved to win it for the league, but alas, his time finally came. I hope that now he can finally be considered an "elite" quarterback alongside Peyton and Tom.

Gosh I am so happy. Seriously. I don't want to hear from any of you Saints haters, please. I just want to enjoy this moment. WHO DAT!

I might regret this...

...but I am going out and being social today and tonight instead of studying for micro. yikes! I am a little uneasy about it, because I am going with a HUGE group to see Dear John, but I only really know a couple of them. It should be interesting. I am def not a big group kind of person... unless I know everyone! It should be interesting.

In other news, I got my flu shot today. Dumb. I don't really believe in the whole flu shot thing. Seriously. But nursing school requires that we have it, so I didn't have much of a choice. At least it was free.

I do my first student nursing shift on February 25 at the Free Clinic in Shawnee. It is kind of intimidating, but certainly exciting. I will post more about all things nursing school later.

Jonas Brother Embarrassment

Today I experienced one of the most embarrassing moments of my life since being in college. However, it was slightly awesome, and definitely a good story. This would be much better if I was able to verbally tell you this story (or if you had actually been there), but seeing as how I don't have the time to call each and every one of you (nor would you want me to), I will do my best to paint the picture of my embarrassing moment.

For my microbiology class, I purchased a Jo Bros folder for storing papers and such. I never thought too much of it, and I often kept it covered by my textbook or lab book. Well, today my friend Julie convinced me to just own it and be proud of my folder. Taking her advice I kind of left it out in the open, but again, I didn't think too much of it. As lab progressed, I went across the table to share the microscope with my friend Amanda as we studied her bacteria (which was pretty cool, btw). Dr. Jett started walking around from table to table making sure we found a good, clear image of our bacteria and such. He got to our table and was answering the question of some other people and stopped mid-sentence, reached over, picked up my Jo Bros folder, help it up to the ENTIRE lab and YELLED: "What is this crap?! The Jonas Brothers?? Seriously?? What are you thinking? You have got to be kidding me! Of all things to bring into my lab, a Jonas Brothers folder!!" Keep in mind, at this point the entire lab, which is 25 students not including me, are staring over at our table as Dr. Jett holds up my folder for all to see. I am BRIGHT red, laughing and crying at this point. I couldn't even speak, much less begin to defend myself. To say that I was mortified was a huge understatement. A few people were laughing right along with me, but I felt like a lot of the crazy smart pre-med students looked down their noses at me. Not even a minute later I got Dr. Jett's attention to ask him a question about our slide. His response?: "I am starting to question YOU based on your music taste! You can bring anthrax into this lab... BUT NOT THE JONAS BROTHERS!" (this, too, was loud enough for all to hear).

Dr. Jett has two younger daughters (probably middle school to early high school age), so I am guessing this is where his Jo Bro hatred stems from. But man, I was SO embarrassed. To top it off, we had a quiz that morning over stuff from chemistry (which is dumb since this isn't a chem class) and I am pretty sure I bombed it (along with everyone else), so my guess is that he is going to have a really high opinion of me now ;).

Funny side note: earlier in lab, I was explaining to my lab group how many of the lines the Jo Bros use in their songs would probably work on me in real life because they are so ridiculously awesome. Examples: "You've got moves, I've got shoes, let's go dancin'." or "Turn right, into my arms; turn right, you won't be alone." etc. etc. They probably wouldn't work on me now, considering I know they are song lyrics, but had I never heard this stuff before, it might actually work. Ha.

At least I will always have a good story from micro...

Encouragement

My first few days have not gone as planned. I have been surprised with some unexpected things I need to take care of. Things have been a little shaky so far, but God is constant. He is Sovereign. He will provide. This song was sung in chapel today, and the words just resonated with me. Hope you enjoy it! :)

Peacemaker, Fear Taker, Soul Soother, Storm Smoother
Light Shiner, Lost Finder, Cloud Lifter, Deliverer,
Hear Toucher, Truth Lover,
Who other could be Fear taker, Peacemaker to me,

Mind Clearer, Sigh Healer, Hand Holder, Consolor,
Wound Binder, Tear Dryer, Strength Giver, Provider,
Heart Healer, Kind Father,
Who other could be, May Savior, Peacemaker to me,

Let Your Peace Rule in my heart,
Let Your kindness fill my thoughts,
Let Your strength secure my soul,
Let Your peace take hold in me,
Let Your Wisdom guide my will,
Your compassion fill this place,
Let my anxious thoughts be still,
Let Your peace rule in my Heart,

[Chorus]
I need You,
Let Your Peace Rule in my heart,
I need You,
Let Your kindness fill my thoughts,
I need You,
Let Your strength secure my soul,
In My Life Lord,
Let Your peace take hold in me,
I Trust You,
Let Your Wisdom guide my will,
Believe You,
Your compassion fill this place,
I need You.
Let my anxious thoughts be still,
Lord, in my Life I Know
Let Your peace rule in my Heart,

(repeat Chorus)

Heart Toucher, Truth Lover
Who other could be, Fear Taker, Peacemaker to me

Peacemaker by Greg Ferguson

Semester Number 4

Today I began my 4th semester of college (I suppose 5th is you count the 7 hours I took this summer). It is kind of weird. I still feel like a freshman a lot of the time. I had 3 classes today, and a lab. Here is the 411 on what is going down so far.

1. Microbiology: I am pretty intimidated by this class, but I am actually looking forward to it. I absolutely LOVE my professor. He is awesome. He used to teach med school classes (and he himself is a doctor, of course), so he knows what's up. He did not try and shy away from the fact that this class is going to be incredibly difficult... but I am ok with it I think. He truly loves what he is teaching and his enthusiasm rubs off on us all I think. We had a time for Q&A today, but I sat quietly, as usual. I would have considered talking if I could have thought of a question. Oh well. He assured us that we will get sick many times this semester, seeing as how we will be working with bacterias and viruses in lab. He also pointed out that a lot of the organisms we will be working with could kill us... so we need to make sure to follow safety procedure. Ha. Tight. I know this class will be very difficult, but I am looking forward to it. He is also putting an emphasis on making this a "medical microbiology" class, considering 99% of the students are going into the medical field. That helps make this more exciting, because it will be very practical. I think I will learn a lot from this class!

2. Wellness Lifestyles: This is probably the single most pointless class I will take in my time at obu. It is basically a cross between highschool health and P.E., but it is required, so here I am. It is only 1 credit hour, and definitely won't be difficult, just unnecessary. Luckily, it only meets Mondays and Wednesdays, which is nice. There isn't to much to say about this class. Although, there is a guy in my class from New Orleans. I really wanted to talk to him about the Saints... but he was on the other side of the room and I am such an introvert these days. Maybe I will work up to it one day? haha

3. Lit of the Western World: This is the lit portion of Civ. I already had a history credit, so I got out of Civ for this semester. This seems like a basic lit course. A ton of reading, of course, and daily quizzes, but it isn't horrid. This will be work, sure, but I am not too worried about the class overall.

4. Microbiology Lab: We actually had lab today, which I was not expecting. We went over some safety procedures, seeing as how half of the stuff we will be playing with in lab could infect us and kill us ;). Then we took samples of various things (I swabbed the inside of my mouth, for example) and put it in a petri dish and put it in the incubator. We will examine it next week in lab. We also looked at various specimens under the microscope. Nothing challenging today, but it will get harder. We have two projects during lab. The first, we create our own experiment. The second lab (which is way cooler) will be towards the end of the semester. We are given an unknown pathogen and a patient history. We will have to use the microscope to examine the specimen, look for clues in the patients symptoms and history and use our knowledge about various bacterias and viruses to make a diagnosis. That should be really cool, actually!

All in all the first day went well. I am exhausted, but such is life. Plenty of homework to keep me busy tonight. ;)

Tomorrow I have Arts and Ideas, my skills lab for intro to nursing and jazz and hip-hop. I will post about those tomorrow sometimes. On Wednesday I have my intro to nursing class, which I am sure I will mention at a later date as well. Here we go with the semester... full speed ahead!

Oh yes, and the most important thing of all...

THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!

Who Dat! :)

The Saints game was very possibly the single most, emotionally taxing, 4 hour period of my life. I didn't handle it well at all. Ha. I paced around my room the whole time, never once sitting down. I talked (very calmly) to each Saints player and shared my hopes and dreams with them. When the fourth quarter came, my whole body was shaking so bad I could hardly support my own weight. I couldn't pick anything up, because my trembling hands would just drop it. My heart was racing faster then it ever had. I almost couldn't bear to watch the field goal. It was ridiculous. But then, they won! I wish I could have video taped my reaction, because I will never be able to reenact it again. The happiness I felt was overwhelming. It was beautiful.

Aha!

At one point on Sunday, Mark Howell mentioned those times when one is reading scripture and suddenly has an "aha" type of moment. I have experienced that before, but not in a while... until tonight. I was reading through John as part of my journey through the gospels and I got to the passage in chapter 11 in which Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. I have heard this story, and read it myself, a hundred different times; but tonight something stood out to me that I probably would have just skipped over most other times. Here is the passage:

38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, "Take away the stone." Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, "Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days." 40 Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me." 43 When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out." 44 The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go." John 11:38-44 (ESV)

For me, the aha moment lies in verse 40. I have been praying, for a rather long time, for God to just show up big in my life. Praying that His Holy Spirit would be evident in my life. That I would be sensitive to the Spirit in my life and that God would reveal himself to me. Lately, I have been frustrated, because things haven't been happening on my time table. I read this passage, and this verse, and I felt like I was punched in the stomach (in a good way), "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God." I don't know if it gets much clearer than that. So, as I pray and as I wait, I will continue to believe, and in His timing (not mine), I will be able to witness the glory of God. Praise God.

NFL Playoffs and the Issue of Hugging

Ok, so I am going to tackle two totally unrelated subjects within this one post. I apologize now if this becomes too long, or too boring.

I will start of with a few of my thoughts from the playoff games that have taken place this weekend. All my stats will be courtesy of nfl.com... because let's face it, I won't be able to remember this all off the top of my head. I am not that good.

Arizona Cardinals 14 @ New Orleans Saints 45:

This was obviously the game I was most interested in. The two hours leading up to this game were some of the most stressful I have ever experienced (in regards to football, of course). Watching the Cardinals and Packers game the week before made me realize that Arizona was going to be a worthy competitor. Logically, I knew the Saints were finally healthy and they are the highest scoring team in the league, but my emotions were everywhere. My family has been watching the Saints for about 43 years, and they have this amazing ability to loose. So, I knew I would not relax until the game was completely over. The first play of the game was a rushing touchdown by Hightower. My stomach turned. However, the Saints came back with furry. Drew Brees threw for 247 yards, had 23/32 completions- a completion rating of 79.1%, had 3 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 0 sacks and 0 fumbles. I couldn't have asked for more. Reggie Bush had, what I would classify as a breakout game. He has finally learned how to run 'north and south' and not 'east to west.' The result was awesome. He had one rushing TD, one punt return for a TD and 84 other yards. This is the Reggie Bush the Saints need. What I was the most pleased with is the fact that the Saints got back to their trademark of using ALL of their resources. They had five separate players (Hamilton, Bush, Shockey, Colston and Henderson) score touchdowns. The ability to do this is something other teams in the NFL lack. The Saints also had 27 first downs compared to the Cardinals 15. I do not say any of this to bash the Cardinals by any means. I respect them as a team, especially Kurt Warner. However, I can't help but brag on my team! :) This is a big deal to the city. I am so pumped for them.

Baltimore Ravens 3 @ Indianapolis Colts 20:

Again, I was clearly going for the Colts in this one. They maintained a solid lead throughout the game, but I did found this game to be rather boring. Maybe this is because I just come off the emotional rollercoaster that was the New Orleans game, but I couldn't stay engaged in this game. Peyton Manning completed 30/44 passes, threw for 246 yards, had 2 TD's and 1 interception. A good game, but not "great"... especially for Peyton Manning. Maybe I found this game to be somewhat boring because Baltimore did not do anything worth mentioning. It didn't feel like a playoff game by any means. Joseph Adai, Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark all had solid games. The defense was able to come up with a fumble, and even cause a fumble on a ball that would have been a Manning interception. The Colts had 22 first downs whereas the Ravens only had 12. To me, this is an important stat in any game. Glad Peyton Manning and the Colts won!

Dallas Cowboys 3 @ Minnesota Vikings 34:

Out of respect to those of you who read this and cheer for the Cowboys, and out of a desire to maintain some class, I will keep my insults and my jokes between my family and I. It is no secret that I am very glad the Cowboys lost today, but I must say, I was disappointed that this wasn't much of a game. Dallas was not able to make it into the inzone during the entire game, which is somewhat unheard of for them. Romo was sacked 6 times, threw 1 interception and lost 2 of his 3 fumbles. With stats like that, the defense would have really needed to step up to give their team a chance, but alas, Brett Favre played the way he has for so many years and pulled off a big win. Brett had 4 touchdown passes of the game (although, I don't think the last one was at all necessary*), completed 15/24 of his passes and threw for 234 yards. That is a good game. Adrian Peterson wasn't able to get much down on the ground, but I suppose it wasn't really needed this game. My only hope is that the New Orleans offensive line will be able to hold up against this Minnesota defensive line next week!

* I found the last touchdown to be unnecessary because the Vikings had clearly one the game. Also, the pass was made on 4th down. I just feel like it was adding insult to injury. With that said, I don't play football, so I don't know what goes through players heads. I would assume that most players wouldn't turn down a touchdown possibility, no matter the score. I would assume its almost second nature to just go for the score. I really don't know.

New York Jets 17 @ San Diego Chargers 14:

This game has been the game I have been the least interested in. However, I am still watching it (as we speak the game is on, so forgive me if my verb tenses change half through this). I have never been a San Diego fan, so I decided to go for the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets. Haha. Anyway, I don't really know what it is about the Chargers, and I don't hate them, but I have never liked them. Plus, I am kind of pulling for Mark Sanchez, seeing as how is a rookie and leading the 5th seed through, and frankly he is pretty decent looking ;). The jets were the only road team this week to win! I think that is pretty cool. This too was somewhat of a slow game. It took a while for Sanchez to get into the game, and even then he wasn't outstanding. But, he played a solid game and did what he needed to so that his team won, and I suppose that is all that counts. The stats aren't great for either team, so I will skip over all of that. I am happy for the Jets and looking forward to seeing them play the Colts. I am hoping they can put up a fight next week... simply for something entertaining to watch.

Now, for a change of pace, onto the issue of hugging. As most of you know, I think it is fair to say that my love language is touch. It is just how I roll. I like to show affection and love through acts of touching. Whether this be a hug or a simple pat on the shoulder, I often use touch to express myself. I also respond well to physical touch. Some of you know this based on my insistence that you hug me. If I am happy, I want to hug you. If I am crying, I want to you to hug me (although I might try and initially act tough and push you away... don't buy it, it's just a defense mechanism). I am stressed out and talking a mile a minute trying to figure everything out, I want a hug. To me, hugs say "I am here for you" or "don't worry, everything will be ok" or "I have missed you/I am really happy to see you/I am sad to see you go" or simply "I love you." For me, hugs are appropriate in most situations. One of the loneliest things about being at obu, is the lack of hugs I receive. There are days when I think to myself "if only I could have a hug." I look forward to getting home for this reason (and many others). There are days I wind up in Sarah's office just so I can get a hug. It does wonders for my spirit. Some would say that because I hug so often, I don't value them. On the contrary, my friend. I value hugging more than most I would dare to say. Just because I give/receive them a lot does not devalue them for me. Hugs often say more to me than words. I find that when I can't find the words for someone else, a hug seems to do the job. I am not trying to convince all of you non-huggers to change your ways (because that would mean changing everyone I know), but I want you to understand where I am coming from. However, with all of this being said, I too have my limits. There are some people I do NOT want hugging me. Just from church today, I have a few names that come to mind. ;). The number one rule with hugging (one in which I try my hardest to always respect) is that you are only allowed to hug another person if they are willing to accept the hug. A hug is something that should be desired by BOTH parties involved, not just one. Forcing a hug onto someone is not cool. I am generally too polite to simply say no, or go in for a handshake instead, so I often end up in a rather unpleasant situation. I guess I should learn to be a little more standoff-ish with certain people. If you are reading this blog, chances are I look forward to hugs from you, so don't worry. Plus, I am somewhat ok with initiating them when I feel I need to. I like hugs. That won't change. But I do not like being backed into a corner, so to speak, and being forced to hug someone I don't really want to ;).

Never Say Never.

Ok, so I realized tonight, at about 11:45, that I lost the key to my grandmas house! I don't think anyone understands how devastating this is. I NEVER loose things... especially important things like house keys! Seriously. I have never lost a key before. I actually never loose anything. There are times I forget something when I head out of the house... but I always know exactly where it is. I am an organized person. I am neat. I do NOT loose things. Except now. Bah. I had to call my gma and wake her up so she could let me in. Now I also feel like a horrible person. :( She was very forgiving, but I feel so bad.

The most frustrating part is that I truly have NO idea how this happened. I have been retracing my steps since this weekend and at no point is it plausible that I would loose this key. It is attached to a key ring, that is attached to my wallet. Plus, the other two keys attached to said wallet are still there. What in the world?! Plus, I haven't even touched my wallet since Sunday... and I know I couldn't have lost it then because I used it to let myself in that night! But at no point on Monday or Tuesday did I come anywhere near my wallet. I haven't had a need. And wouldn't it be logical to assume that all 3 keys would be missing? Or that there would be some evidence of this occurring? But no, I have got nothing! Seriously... how does this happen?? And where are detectives Benson and Stabler when you need them ;). But seriously, this is no laughing matter. What if I lost it in public? Then some creep can have a key to my home. Absolutely terrifying. I realize that said person probably would have no idea what the key was to, but that is not the point.

I seriously doubt much sleep is in my future. I tend to be the kind of person that needs things resolved the moment after the go awry.

The weirdest part is that before I went out tonight I thought to myself "I should probably double check to make sure my key is on my wallet." Then I immediately thought to myself "Oh, there is no need for that. I NEVER loose things. Plus, there have been zero opportunities for my key to have been lost... stop being paranoid."

Never say never.

Good Stuff

"The distinguishing mark of saving faith is not perfection. The mark of faith is not that I never sin... The mark of faith is that I fight. I fight anything that dims my sight of Jesus as my glorious Savior. I fight anything that diminishes the fullness of the lordship of Jesus in my life. I fight anything that threatens to replace Jesus as the supreme Treasure of my life. Anything that stands between me and receiving Jesus faith fights—not with fists or knives or guns or bombs, but with the truth of Christ."- John Piper

Hello Houston

A few quick updates on the happenings since I have been home (to Houston):

1. Got in around 1:30 Wednesday. No flight complications. Perf.

2. On the way home from the airport, my gpa took me by chick-fil-a. It was so yummy.

3. I hung out with my gma for a while after I got home. We talked a bunch and just spent some quality time catching up.

4. Wednesday night was the CYS party. We played crack the case, which ended up being really fun. I got to hang out with LG and Danica, which of course was awesome, and see some others. Good night indeed.

5. Thursday, I went on a "date" with my gpa to see Avatar. It was an impressive movie, of course. I enjoyed it. I mean, it wasn't really my type of movie, but I could appreciate it. It was fun to hang out with my poppa.

6. Watched the UT game with my grandparents. My pop was pleased with the outcome, but I was not. However, there has been so much talk of this game already, so I won't make a discussion out of it. Although, I do love Colt!

7. Friday night I got to spend the night with Molly. Of course that was wonderful! It was so fun to just stay up late and catch up on everything. We certainly had plenty to talk about.

8. While at the Robert's home, I got to play Settlers of Catan (for the first time) with Molly, Andrew and Mr. Bill. I am chalking it up to beginners luck... but I won! :) Not going to lie... it felt good. I usually don't ever win at games. It was fun and I finally feel like I am in the loop having played now.

9. I got breakfast with my gramps this morning.

10. SVU marathon. Perf.

11. Celebrating Danica's bday tomorrow night (I think?). It should be fun to just laze around with her and LG.

12. HNW tomorrow for this first time since break! Victory.

13. I am not liking this cold weather. I am pretty used to it because it was significantly colder the whole time I was in Boston, but I am so ready for summer weather!

It is good to be back. :)

Tomorrow!

I leave Boston tomorrow morning.

I always have such mixed emotions.

I will probably get all chocked up at the airport (as usual), then land in Houston and see my gpa waiting for me and be filled with joy instantly. A rollercoaster day indeed.

I am looking forward to being back in the Lonestar state, but my dad will be missed! Living in two states is quite the adventure. ;)