The Decision Has Been Made

If you have talked to me at all this past year, you have known that I have really struggled in regards to where I would be going to church. I know what you are thinking, "it's the end of your sophmore year, how have you not found a church home yet?" Well, before you judge me too quickly, hear me out. Almost everyone I know here has struggled to find a church home. There are not a lot of solid options in Shawnee, and driving to the city is not always the most practical option. Anyway, I have gone to church just about every Sunday this year (rare exceptions where I just couldn't get a ride), but every time I would go to Frontline, I just had this uneasiness and uncertainty about the whole. I couldn't really articulate it for the whole year, all I knew was that something wasn't quite right. I tried to talk myself out of my concerns and justify any anxiety I had because I couldn't entirely figure out what was wrong with Frontline. Basically I has just been in a constant state of questioning whether or not this was the church for me. I had also been spending my year in prayer about where in the world I need to be for church. Well, I think I have finally arrived at an answer. Today, my friend Amanda and I went to Heritage Church (here in Shawnee). After we left, we both decided that it was time to leave Frontline and make the move to Heritage!

A bit of background: Heritage was the first church I went to semi consistently while at college. I went most of the first semester my freshman year, and a little bit into my second semester. I think it was around April when we first started going to Frontline. At first I was all on board. It seemed cool and I thought it could be a good move. I came back in August and we kept going and with each week I felt more and more uncomfortable. Amanda and I would talk about it a bit here and there and we recently came to the conclusion that we had similar views on Frontline and both had a desire to go somewhere else. We both really liked Heritage (and weren't exactly sure why we left in the first place), so we decided to branch out and go on our own today. Good decision? absolutely.

So, here is my attempt to break down my reasons for leaving Frontline and choosing Heritage:

Community: This is definitely one of the biggest parts to my decision. You see, Frontline never provided me with a sense of community. It just wasn't really their focus. I guess you could say they were more focused on evangelism rather than discipleship. This isn't to say Frontline is bad for having that focus, but they just weren't as concerned with building us up as a body. There were not a lot of opportunities to get plugged in anywhere and building relationships seemed nearly impossible. Frontline was not a very relational church. Again, I am in no way dissing them as a church... I am just saying, for me, I placed a much more significance in community than I felt I was getting there. Now, Heritage on the other hand, has a huge emphasis on community, and let me tell you, you could feel it the moment you walked in. They place great stock in unity as a body of Christ, with one heart and one purpose. They also have a lot more community opportunities. For example, they have Sunday school. Ha, it is such a simple thing, but still! I would really like that. They have homegroups on Sunday nights. They have a women's bible study on Wednesday night. Basically there are many opportunities for me to plug in and build relationships with other believers. Plus, it is a pretty small church, so that only increases my opportunities. A lot of OBU students also go to Heritage. Pretty cool, eh?

Doctrine: Heritage is a place where I actually feel like I can stand behind their doctrine. This is huge for me, because I was never entirely sure about this when it came to Frontline. When Pastor Josh (the lead pastor) would speak, I felt pretty secure that he was speaking Truth, but he didn't speak every Sunday. The days he didn't speak, I never knew for sure what we were going to get. We had a couple of instances there where we (Amanda and I specifically) left completely freaked out but some things that had been said during the service. I don't have that constant concern at Frontline. It was wonderful to be there today and be at total ease with the message, knowing it was something I could stand behind.

The Pastor: The pastor at Frontline was Josh. I like him a lot and I liked his sermons. He is definitely more of a charismatic speaker than the pastor of Heritage (Jay), but that alone wasn't enough to convince me to stay. I can always listen to Josh's podcasts if I really want to. Jay is an extremely personable guy. He gives very good sermons, even if sometimes he gets off on slight tangents. Ha. I still have no problems following him and I get a lot out of his messages. I feel like Jay is a pastor who I could have a conversation with. That is definitely appealing to me! I don't know, I just really like him. haha.

The LACK of charisma: Frontline is a very, very charismatic church. I am not going to lie, I am not a huge fan of that style. I feel like there is such a fine line that they sometimes would cross. I just never felt particularly comfortable with all of that. Heritage is not a charismatic church. I like it. I don't really know how to articulate this point all that well, so if you want you can just ask me about it and I can try and talk you through my thoughts with this.

Location and Size: Heritage is in Shawnee. Now that is a big deal! Even if Frontline offered a ton of opportunities for community, I couldn't participate because it is simply too far away. Heritage is about 10 minutes from campus. Perfect. I can get plugged in easier with a church in the same city my school is in. Also, I don't have to wake up ridiculously early to get to church. Sweet. As I have pointed out before, Heritage is also pretty small. It is definitely different from Northwest, but I kind of like it. Again, I feel like it only increases the opportunities to build relationships. It also gives me the feeling that this place is much more 'real.' Now, I am NOT saying a big church can't be "real." HNW is a big church, but it is a real church. But, I think the size of Heritage contributes to that overall feeling of the church.

The Shutt Family: Sarah, my dear friend here (it's her kids in the previous blog) and her husband go to Heritage. In fact, her husband has now become the Associate Pastor of the church. I adore them and I trust them so much. To me, it is just further confirmation that I am making the right choice.

I left church this morning with a huge sense of peace. I had been wanting that ALL year, and the fact that I finally got it at Heritage was so exciting. Again, I don't dislike Frontline; it's just not the church for me and I am glad that I can finally say that and finally have a place to plug in to... even if it is a little late in the game. ;)

Again, my thoughts in this blog were so jumbled... so how about we just talk about it in person and I can try and explain myself a little better!